Bandit: Would you consider a comedy version of “King Lear”?
Shakespeare: Would you consider not helping me?
Bandit: Watch your steppes!
Tolstoy: Tom foolery!
Boots: My cat friend Tom is all alone.
Dickens: How Bleak!
Virginia: Don’t you think it is strange that you, a cat, should wear a leopard patterned scarf?
Boots: No stranger than the fact that you should serve ladyfingers at tea.
Bandit: Did Leonard really give you a ball of string for Christmas?
Virginia: It’s wool. Apparently one “knits” with it, whatever that means.
Bandit: Egad, knit wit!
Dickens: Lord Toodle has lost the election to Lord Boodle
Boots: As a cat, I opposed the Marquis of Poodle!
Ladycat: A crown makes it difficult to wash one’s ears
Shakespeare: That’s too heavy for me, man.
Boots: Stop feeding me kvas and salted cucumbers!
Tolstoy: You can’t turn a Persian into a Russian, I guess.
Shakespeare: What shall Hamlet’s tragic flaw be?
Boots: Not washing behind his ears?
Dickens: I am looking for new sources of tragedy
Ladycat: Hide the litter boxes?